Let me tell you a love story … of sorts
About 20 years ago, I met a guy who I would always consider a great friend. We were teenagers and we were so different in how we lived. David had his fair share of antics, cute girls (some were even my friends) and an unmistakable charm that to this day he exudes effortlessly. Back then I was that girl my friends sometimes would tell their parents they were with when they wanted to go have fun with their boyfriends -- passed curfew. Let's just say I was raised to be a late-bloomer.
Even though our lifestyles were so different, I always saw a light in David and I guess I never stopped being drawn to it. I crushed on him…pretty hard, actually. The goofy girl in me is kind of embarrassed about that. He and I just spoke last night about all this. He always liked me…but like I said, we were just different. He always saw me as the "relationship" kind of girl. I suppose I was for a while…but late-bloomers tend to make up for lost time in their 20s. I'll leave it at that.
In the span of several years, I was engaged (David hated that guy) but he was in a relationship with someone by the time my fiancé and I were done. We kind of lost touch and he later married and had two beautiful kiddos. I continued to have one silly relationship after another. At one point David reconnected with me on social media and even hired me to shoot his cousin's wedding around 2007 or 2008? It's been so long…but I remember I had a hard time suppressing that I still had feelings. I conveniently forgot to ask if he noticed or not…
We stayed in touch off and on throughout the years that followed. I confess to having that lingering "what could have been" thought that dreamy-brained people have when we feel nostalgic. David and I reconnected a few years ago on Facebook and by the time I moved to South Dakota in January 2013, we wrote to each other somewhat regularly. He divorced and I was still single, after years of not finding the right connection with anyone. By the time I told him I was moving back to Texas for a while to get things sorted for what I always called "my next adventure," I…..felt. And I quietly mulled over possibilities. He mentioned we should connect in person when I arrived back home to Arlington, Texas, but I tell you, even THAT took a few months to come together. That is a story in and of itself and I don't have enough screen…
A little before Christmas of last year, we finally had dinner. It had been ages but he still looked the same -- just a little older but he had that unmistakable boyish look he used to give me. How does 20 years go by and you still have feelings for someone? Easier than I thought, I guess. But there was a catch -- I was leaving in a month for Tucson. I had everything squared away -- the movers, my apartment was locked down and I applied to grad school at the University of Arizona. We spent New Year's Eve together where we had an evening of being two big kids again. And at some point he asked, before midnight, "What if I were your boyfriend for the rest of the month?" I of course saw this as a win-win. We both agreed that it was a no-brainer -- no pressure and we still would get the chance to explore the relationship we never had a real chance to have together.
It is now Valentine's Day 2014. I didn't leave.
The people who really know me, know this was not easy. Probably looks a little nutty, honestly. I've never done anything like this before and it was a bit of a scary moment for me. I've chased ambition all of my life. In fact, I am quite sure that I replaced my failed relationships with it. David had a piece of my heart from the moment we became friends. I don't know how the Universe does this…even in impossible circumstances. I took this chance. Well, WE did. I have to get accustomed to those two letters.
This is where I say, "I have no idea what the future holds" but this is a story that I will always treasure no matter what the Universe decides. I find out about school in March. It's the last bit of plot twist we have left. I know what I think I might do, but the moment hasn't come yet to be sure. I've never felt more loved, protected and treasured. So weird even typing it, really.
I also have never been more sappy in my whole life. So I hope you enjoyed this pouring out of love and my goofy girl soul. Enjoy your day of sweetness -- today and hopefully every day.
Oh, by the way: I know this is a "selfie." But the day it was shot is very significant to me. I turned 36 with my love and all my beautiful friends I'm blessed to have in my life at one of my favorite places in Dallas. I adore this photo, in all its grainy splendor.