When at a crossroads, sometimes you don't choose
I used to think that when you are at a crossroads in your life, whether in personal affairs or business decisions, you had to make choice. Actually, that's what most people would say is just common sense! The choice is usually between a few options and you weigh things against each possible outcome.
A lot of things go out the window after you make major decisions in relation to having a child. All you have to do is read my last blog post. Being a new mom kinda changes your brain chemistry AND your priorities. I now vow to only accept jobs I absolutely know will be financially beneficial or provide growth or new experiences to my life. And that last part is really imperative to that growth. The studio will always be something that I will strive for but until the timing is right again, phasing myself into a real schedule with solid earning is important. Knowing where the next paycheck is coming from when you don't have the time anymore to hustle is also a spectacular need.
After I made my last crossroad choices I was left with this moment of pondering "what next?" Actually it was more than one moment. It was more like a daily occurance. It wasn't really until the last few days that I realized "what's next" isn't something I need on my agenda right now. Maybe it's not that I'm NOT choosing -- maybe it's that I'm actually CHOOSING not to choose. Does that even make sense? To this mom brain it does. This makes you marinate on things that come to you now that may not have come otherwise when you focused too much on exact outcomes. At this point my exact outcome is that I need to care for my child. Everything else is secondary.
Being a stay-at-home working mom means that I get the opportunity to physically be there for my child even though I *gasp* am not the main breadwinner. I'm very blessed to have a husband who takes care of the bills and parents to dote and assist with our girl in all facets. This was not a reality I envisioned for my future when I was trudging along as a free-spirited, single (albeit sometimes lonely) independent woman. It's a strange place. Free-spirited has given way to another kind of personality trait. There are a lot more moments when my feet are deep in the dirt. Immersed in the ground. I've gathered up the wind that made me fly so high and now push it under my daughter's wings. There's a wisdom that comes as a woman of a certain age being a new mom.
So what does it all mean? Like I said, my brain is just different now. My passions are molding and shaping into a new existence of what stokes the fires of "what's next." I'm not choosing anything other than flowing into what motherhood is bringing up in me. Seeing things through that lens. My camera and my laptop are most assuredly a part of that. I still want to tell people's stories through each medium. But I'm opening up to all new opportunities that don't always use those tools. And that means if you are reading this and wonder if I can assist you in any way that may not use those skills alone, let me know. Reach out. All the things I can do to help with your personal business may surprise you! Especially if you work in a business that cares about family, community, and personal growth. These have always been cornerstones of Art Is Life Studio but are crucial to me now more than ever.